Wallowing

Elephants wallow to keep cool and keep bugs away.

Forgive me a moment, but I’m wallowing too. Not to keep cool. No bugs. I’m just feeling sorry for myself…or maybe I’m just bummed out.

I wrote a post a couple weeks ago about trying to find a literary agent. After I wrote it, I decided to try just one more agent—a different agent in the agency that actually wrote a response. I figured at least I’d get a “yes” or “no” fairly quickly. I wouldn’t be waiting months without ever getting a response.

So on July 7th, I sent her my query. I also thought it’d be smart to take down the post about agents.

Yesterday, John and I went to an afternoon movie, but before I turned off my phone, I just glanced at my emails and there it was—the final rejection.

I’m basically tough. I can take rejection. Years of making art and writing involved plenty of No’s. You just brush yourself off, stand tall, believe in what you’re doing, and try again.

You tell yourself the opinion of others is subjective, because it’s true.

But this time it feels worse. Maybe because this time I think the novel is really good (but don’t I always?)

Intentional, a novel, was self-published. I know how to do it. But honestly, it’s hard work. It’s expensive. Both of which make it understandable why agents and publishers are hesitant about working with writers they don’t know. There are so many parts and pieces that need doing—I’m tired just thinking about it.

So today I’ve reposted the blog on agents, and I’m going to continue wallowing.

Tomorrow I’ll get busy

1. More editing
2. Designing covers and having a vote on the favorite
3. Designing the page layout
4. Getting ISBN numbers
5. Getting Library of Congress numbers
6. Getting it Copyrighted
7. Getting a Kirkus Review and maybe Publishers Weekly
8. Formatting for Amazon
9. Formatting for iBooks
10. Formatting for Kindle
11. Planning a signing party/book launch
12. Selling it (ugh!)
13. Etc, etc., etc.

So, as John would say. “You know how to do it…so just do it. And get out of the damn mud, you’re tracking it all through the house.”

***

P.S. Our granddaughter Julia Ruble made it safely to Thailand, where she’s tending rescued elephants. I’m so proud of her.